shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
