it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Randomize
