i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Randomize
