Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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