yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
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