Only a mothe r could love this liver
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
She even gives head with a lisp.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
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