So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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