She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
Randomize
