After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
So many bounce houses so little time
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
