It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
