Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
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