There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
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