I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
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