You just made me feel so damn special
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
