I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
