why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
Randomize
