She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
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