I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
Randomize
