I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
