Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
