I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
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