I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
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