i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
My boob is missing a layer of skin
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
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