I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
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