Will you blow on my dice?
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
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