me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
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