Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
i believe in u and ur pee
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
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