doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
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