I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
Randomize
