why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
