Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
I just blew my weed a kiss
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Randomize
