i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Randomize
