If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
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