He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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