i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
Damn victory sex feels great
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
Randomize
