She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
