So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
Randomize
