He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Randomize
