I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Randomize
