Your tits are I can't wait for
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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