You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
I'm both gender and math confused
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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