So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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