i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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