I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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