I want to walk on stilts...naked
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Randomize
