that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
