Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Randomize
