I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
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