I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
