It's like God shit irony all over that family
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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