He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
Never underestimate the power of titties
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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